Willowmist's Wanderings

For chrissakes, I spend so much of my time in the United States being smugly superior and then my moronic prime minister bumbles into yet another embarassingly avoidable faux pas and I am forced to admit that not all Canadians are so much better than everyone else.

Ok.  I watched the stupid video.  He did not eat the wafer and it’s absurd and insulting for his aides to stand there on camera and tell us that he did eat the wafer.  His hand never goes near his mouth for crying out loud.  I’ve always suspected that Stephen Harper wasn’t quite human, and I’ve often suggested that his brain is located about three feet lower than everyone else’s, but I’ve generally assumed that he ate with his mouth which sits rather ostentatiously on the front of his face.  So, unless he has another mouth hidden in his pants (and we are treading dangerously into a vision that no one wants to carry around in their heads here!) he did NOT eat the goddamned wafer!

For my American friends and allies who have no clue about what I speak:  Canada’s Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, who is a Protestant by claim, attended a Catholic funeral recently and, although he presented himself for Communion and he accepted the host from the priest, he did not eat it as the ceremony calls for; rather he suddenly became a magician and the wafer disappeared.  Unfotunately, the funeral was a televised event (for a former Governor-General in fact,) and soon the whole world wide web was wondering where the wafer had gone.  Devout Catholics, never really known for their generous senses of humour, are offended and the rest of us shake our lowered heads with shame.

I don’t even care what he did with the morsel entrusted to him by the priest.  Please, he palmed the damned thing and then tossed it in a nearby trashcan.  Maybe he pocketed it for a little Jesus snack later in the afternoon.  Seriously, who cares?  As much as I hate Stephen Harper, I don’t honestly believe that he intended to mistreat the body of Christ.  He probably didn’t know what the fuck he was doing or what was expected of him or even what options he had.  That pretty much sums up Canada’s Prime Minister.  Let’s face it:  if you’re not Catholic, you’re not likely to know the intricacies of the Catholic Mass.  He didn’t want to partake of the transubstantiation, but he didn’t know that he could bow his head for a simple blessing rather than take the wafer.

My problem is simply that the standards are higher for heads of state.  If you’re going to a Catholic funeral and you don’t know what is going to happen - find the fuck out before you go!  Ask one of the eight million aides around you, read a book, google it for chrissakes.  On second thought, don’t bother asking any of your aides.  They are clearly lying fucks.

Happy July 9 everyone.