Happy Mother's Day
Mother's are human beings too, with thoughts and feelings and histories all their own. While I am fortunate to have a mother who is rather young by society's standards, and I expect to have her around for a very, very long time, I think it is very important that people should find out who their mothers are while their mothers still walk among them. I don't think most people think to do this until it is too late, and I am here to tell you that you will have a much deeper, more meaningful relationship if you know who your mother really is beyond being just your mom.
Hey, thanks for the lecture, now put your money where your mouth is!
My mom did the family-thing the hard way, but she was never ashamed of any of her choices, and she never made a secret of any of them. When I was a teenager, I used to love to read the poems that she wrote during those times of her life. It's not so much that the poetry was great, but I loved the connection it gave me to a mother who hadn't even met me yet. It was neat to see that she could feel the same way I imagined that I might have felt.
My mom's favourite colour is blue, but she also likes animal prints, and cow motifs. Listen, I didn't say that we had everything in common, I just said that I knew things about her!
My mom doesn't really sew or bake, although there was that period when she was totally into making jam and we had so much strawberry jam that we couldn't give the stuff away fast enough. I think she may still have some in the basement if you're interested. Picking the strawberries was more fun than making the jam, but what were you really going to do with all those freakin' strawberries? She did, however, help me learn to make apple crisp from a recipe that we learned in the first grade, and she makes a mean lasagna. My mother taught me that there are hundreds of things that are more important than a spotless house and a perfect meal.
My mom likes rock 'n' roll and new country music. When she was young, she loved Janis Joplin and drank Southern Comfort. I seem to remember a story which involved my sister as an infant at an Alice Cooper concert. When I was a teenager, she and I could share music - which was fine for her, but mortifying for me. She has also fallen prey to the odd embarrassing fad - you will find things like Donnie Osmond, MilliVanilli and New Kids on the Block in her collection, unless she sees you coming and tries to hide them. She was absolutely retarded over Prince before the whole 'artist formerly known as' thing.
My mom likes her men tall, masculine and hairy. I know this because she was disappointed that Khan (and, perhaps I date myself by referring to a Star Trek movie) did not have hair on his chest. Anyone who has met my dad would have to agree with my assessment anyway.
My mom was a skinny little know-it-all in school too! She is smart, she is proud of being smart and she always made me proud of being smart too.
My mom hitchhiked across the country and spent some time in BC.
My mom has smoked pot, and hash and angeldust, and she once believed that she was inside a fish. My mom's stories about drugs really served to take the mystery out of them for me and made them much less interesting in the long run. My friend, Bert, once thought that he was SuperBert and we had to save him, in his underwear, from the tree that hung over the gully near our house when he tried to fly. It's not as glamourous as some folks make it seem.
My mom and I are both Ottawa Senator fans - sad, sad Ottawa Senator fans. We are also both Oshawa General fans, but it is pretty difficult for me to stay involved from way over here. When my mom decides to become a fan of something, she tends to become obsessive. She went through a WWF stage a while back that the rest of us prefer not to talk about now that it has passed. When we were kids, baseball was a perfectly legitimate reason to miss school and hockey night in Canada meant staying up late to eat bacon bunnies.
My mom is the oldest of three girls. She has told me stories about being the oldest, but as the youngest, I can't relate. Why wouldn't she want her little sisters tagging along everywhere she went, and why would she want to be mean to them?
My mom is a peacemaker. She tried to make peace between my sister and I, between my father and I, between Nicky and his Papa, between Nicky and Vaughan, between this part of the family and that part of the family...
She is not a martyr. It is totally different. She hardly ever tries to take any credit for her work.
My mom is a horrific nag. I don't think she can even help herself anymore. This is probably her ONLY fault. But, in her defense, she can always take a good ribbing about it when she's caught doing it.
My mom was angry at my grandma for not taking better care of herself. She is torn over her relationship with my grampy. She still blames herself for my sister's running away from home about eighteen years ago. She would like to be more of a priority for my father, but doesn't want to be an imposition either. She's a people-pleaser, always trying to make everyone happy and wearing herself out with the effort. I'm sure that I'm a source of stress in some way, but she would never admit it to me.
My mom likes to write, but I don't think she does it much anymore. She is pretty good at it, but I might be biased.
My mom believes in an afterlife, and she believes in right and wrong, but she's not Christian and she's not New Age.
My favourite things about my mother are how easy she has always been to talk to, her diplomacy, her sense of humour and zest for life, and how much she feels like home to me. My mom is not June Cleaver. She has always had a life and interests outside of her kids, but she was always available and I never felt unimportant. The other day, while we were watching the Sens beat Tampa Bay, Vaughan asked me if I loved him more than hockey and I laughed. I pretended to think about it for a minute and then I said, 'yeah, I love you just a little bit more than hockey.' Tom scolded me at the time, but Vaughan was quite content with the answer. It made me think of my mom telling my sister and I that, if were going to get sick or break a bone or anything, we should wait until the end of the game.
My best memory of my mom and I together is playing cheesy computer games. We played the King's Quest series, where I remember, at one point walking up to every little thing and typing 'look at mongoose,' because we had no clue where the stupid mongoose was and the graphics were so crappy that you couldn't tell one thing from another. In the Police Quest series, mom had her cop car stolen and the chief reamed us out. In Leisure Suit Larry, we got arrested for indecent exposure because, although we got redressed, we failed to specifically remove the condom after having sex with the prostitute. This was after resetting the game because we didn't use the condom at all the first time and died from a horrible disease - a valuable life lesson indeed! And, it wasn't Space Quest, but a space-type game, that completely stumped us after we lost our hovercraft and kept dying in our attempts to get back to the ship.
My mom is the best grandma on the face of the earth. It takes a lot of work to establish a relationship with a toddler who lives eight hours or more away and only visits once a year or so. Vaughan has always known who his grandma is, and he adores her. I have never seen anyone who can draw conversation out of him on the phone the way my mother can, it's magical to watch.
If I turned out ok, I owe most of it to my mom. If I can be half the mother that she is I will consider myself lucky. She says that Mother's Day is a commercial excuse to get people to spend money on cards and flowers and things, and it is, and I frequently express my appreciation for and of my mother throughout the year, but Mother's Day seems like a good enough excuse to post my appreciation to the world (such as reads my blog anyway) and to remind the aforementioned world that their mothers have stories to tell too. Go ask your mom some questions!
Hey, thanks for the lecture, now put your money where your mouth is!
She is not a martyr. It is totally different. She hardly ever tries to take any credit for her work.
My favourite things about my mother are how easy she has always been to talk to, her diplomacy, her sense of humour and zest for life, and how much she feels like home to me. My mom is not June Cleaver. She has always had a life and interests outside of her kids, but she was always available and I never felt unimportant. The other day, while we were watching the Sens beat Tampa Bay, Vaughan asked me if I loved him more than hockey and I laughed. I pretended to think about it for a minute and then I said, 'yeah, I love you just a little bit more than hockey.' Tom scolded me at the time, but Vaughan was quite content with the answer. It made me think of my mom telling my sister and I that, if were going to get sick or break a bone or anything, we should wait until the end of the game.
My best memory of my mom and I together is playing cheesy computer games. We played the King's Quest series, where I remember, at one point walking up to every little thing and typing 'look at mongoose,' because we had no clue where the stupid mongoose was and the graphics were so crappy that you couldn't tell one thing from another. In the Police Quest series, mom had her cop car stolen and the chief reamed us out. In Leisure Suit Larry, we got arrested for indecent exposure because, although we got redressed, we failed to specifically remove the condom after having sex with the prostitute. This was after resetting the game because we didn't use the condom at all the first time and died from a horrible disease - a valuable life lesson indeed! And, it wasn't Space Quest, but a space-type game, that completely stumped us after we lost our hovercraft and kept dying in our attempts to get back to the ship.
My mom is the best grandma on the face of the earth. It takes a lot of work to establish a relationship with a toddler who lives eight hours or more away and only visits once a year or so. Vaughan has always known who his grandma is, and he adores her. I have never seen anyone who can draw conversation out of him on the phone the way my mother can, it's magical to watch.
If I turned out ok, I owe most of it to my mom. If I can be half the mother that she is I will consider myself lucky. She says that Mother's Day is a commercial excuse to get people to spend money on cards and flowers and things, and it is, and I frequently express my appreciation for and of my mother throughout the year, but Mother's Day seems like a good enough excuse to post my appreciation to the world (such as reads my blog anyway) and to remind the aforementioned world that their mothers have stories to tell too. Go ask your mom some questions!
Willowmist
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No Good Deed
So I've been thinking a great deal lately about generosity.
I've never really thought of myself as generous before. In truth, I've never really spent a whole lot of time considering the idea at all, but if someone had asked me, I'd probably have laughed it off.
Oh, I give my old cars to charity, but I do it mostly to get the damned things out of my driveway and for the tax benefit later. That's not generosity in my books. And, it's true that I give away most things at one time or another, but I think of this process largely as utilitarian, not overly generous. I'm not using something anymore, or it holds no special value for me and it can be useful or valuable to someone else. Reduce, reuse, recycle - right? And, sure, I could have a yard sale and make some money from most of these things, but I believe we established long ago that I am a lazy, lazy creature who much prefers the path of least resistance. Yard sales are never held by people travelling the path of least resistance, although they are often held along the side of the path by others! Who doesn't like a good yard sale now and then?
George Carlin is right, a house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it, and I just don't need a lot of stuff. So I part with the stuff that I have rather easily. So, am I generous, or nomadic?
The reason I have been waxing philosophical about generosity lately is because I have seen its exact opposite. The opposite of generosity is not avarice or parsimony , as you may have thought - it's appropriation. I have recently become ensnared by a taker, and it has led me to wonder whether or not there can be limits on generosity, or if by limiting it, you destroy it.
I'm not completely naive. I probably knew that I was being taken advantage of, but I also believed that I was being of assistance on some level. I've given food, books, babysitting services, a cat carrier, LeapPad games, pet supplies, heck, we're giving her Tom's broken down ol' car instead of donating it this year! Vaughan has given her son a half dozen of his toys, out of his own genuinely generous little heart. I don't need gushing displays of gratitude, but a thank-you or two would be nice. Occasionally paying me on time and offering to pay for all the extra babysitting that she foists on me at the last minute would probably be bad for my heart in the long run. When we called to take her to the insurance company to sign the car over to her, she actually asked if it was going to take long, and she hasn't even acknowledged the fifty bucks Tom had to spot her to get the title put in her name.
But, I can swallow all of that. The proverbial straw was that stupid little bubble gum machine ring. The boy gave Vaughan a little "gold" ring that the mother's boyfriend had given him as a please-take-me-back gift. I didn't know about it until a day or two later, but when I found out, I suggested to Vaughan that maybe the boy should have asked his mother first, and that we might have to give it back. Keep in mind, that this was a few days later, ok? The minute Vaughan showed the mother this ring, she practically snatched it from his hand with some cockamamie story about how the boyfriend had been looking for it all this time. Vaughan's face was crestfallen. Seriously, if your kid had lost a ring, wouldn't you have asked the babysitter about it first? I mean, we were offering the ring back to her, she didn't have to snatch it and lie to us.
After they left, I told him that I was proud of him for doing the right thing and that I thought the mother hadn't been very nice to him. I asked him if he wanted to go out for dinner that night, but he decided he wanted to stay home because I make the best Sloppy Joes in the whole world! What can I say? The kid knows how to suck up!
I can't even fathom the mentality that could take and take and take, the way that this woman has, and still begrudge a little boy a cheapass little ring offered in friendship. Vaughan has forgotten all about the ring, in fact, he has even given the boy another gift since then. My son is clearly more generous than I am because I find myself ill-inclined to give this family anything more.
Is there a limit to generosity? If I am, indeed, a generous person, than the answer to that question is a resounding yes. The limit is the exact point at which a little boy's feelings get hurt.
I've never really thought of myself as generous before. In truth, I've never really spent a whole lot of time considering the idea at all, but if someone had asked me, I'd probably have laughed it off.
Oh, I give my old cars to charity, but I do it mostly to get the damned things out of my driveway and for the tax benefit later. That's not generosity in my books. And, it's true that I give away most things at one time or another, but I think of this process largely as utilitarian, not overly generous. I'm not using something anymore, or it holds no special value for me and it can be useful or valuable to someone else. Reduce, reuse, recycle - right? And, sure, I could have a yard sale and make some money from most of these things, but I believe we established long ago that I am a lazy, lazy creature who much prefers the path of least resistance. Yard sales are never held by people travelling the path of least resistance, although they are often held along the side of the path by others! Who doesn't like a good yard sale now and then?
George Carlin is right, a house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it, and I just don't need a lot of stuff. So I part with the stuff that I have rather easily. So, am I generous, or nomadic?
The reason I have been waxing philosophical about generosity lately is because I have seen its exact opposite. The opposite of generosity is not avarice or parsimony , as you may have thought - it's appropriation. I have recently become ensnared by a taker, and it has led me to wonder whether or not there can be limits on generosity, or if by limiting it, you destroy it.
I'm not completely naive. I probably knew that I was being taken advantage of, but I also believed that I was being of assistance on some level. I've given food, books, babysitting services, a cat carrier, LeapPad games, pet supplies, heck, we're giving her Tom's broken down ol' car instead of donating it this year! Vaughan has given her son a half dozen of his toys, out of his own genuinely generous little heart. I don't need gushing displays of gratitude, but a thank-you or two would be nice. Occasionally paying me on time and offering to pay for all the extra babysitting that she foists on me at the last minute would probably be bad for my heart in the long run. When we called to take her to the insurance company to sign the car over to her, she actually asked if it was going to take long, and she hasn't even acknowledged the fifty bucks Tom had to spot her to get the title put in her name.
But, I can swallow all of that. The proverbial straw was that stupid little bubble gum machine ring. The boy gave Vaughan a little "gold" ring that the mother's boyfriend had given him as a please-take-me-back gift. I didn't know about it until a day or two later, but when I found out, I suggested to Vaughan that maybe the boy should have asked his mother first, and that we might have to give it back. Keep in mind, that this was a few days later, ok? The minute Vaughan showed the mother this ring, she practically snatched it from his hand with some cockamamie story about how the boyfriend had been looking for it all this time. Vaughan's face was crestfallen. Seriously, if your kid had lost a ring, wouldn't you have asked the babysitter about it first? I mean, we were offering the ring back to her, she didn't have to snatch it and lie to us.
After they left, I told him that I was proud of him for doing the right thing and that I thought the mother hadn't been very nice to him. I asked him if he wanted to go out for dinner that night, but he decided he wanted to stay home because I make the best Sloppy Joes in the whole world! What can I say? The kid knows how to suck up!
I can't even fathom the mentality that could take and take and take, the way that this woman has, and still begrudge a little boy a cheapass little ring offered in friendship. Vaughan has forgotten all about the ring, in fact, he has even given the boy another gift since then. My son is clearly more generous than I am because I find myself ill-inclined to give this family anything more.
Is there a limit to generosity? If I am, indeed, a generous person, than the answer to that question is a resounding yes. The limit is the exact point at which a little boy's feelings get hurt.
How many laws..
...must one president break, before he can pound the sand?
The answer, my friend, is blowing with Qwest,the answer is blowing with Qwest.
So Tom and I have been halfheartedly throwing around the idea of finding a new wireless carrier. I'll tell you why. Boostmobile won't let me download (or upload, or whatever it is you do to get ringtones on your damned phone!) "Oh Canada" to play whenever someone calls me. Seriously, for me, that's it. Ok, and I sort of want a cool little flippy phone, but that's totally secondary. For Tom there's some kind of practical thing about Boostmobile not working when we travel in Canada...blah, blah, blah.
We're totally pay-as-you-go people, you know, non-commital. Cingular wants 99 cents every day that I use my phone, on top of the per-minute rate. Yeah, that ain't gonna happen. Verizon disguised monthly plans as pay-as-you-go plans and their prices are outrageous. No dice. I was leaning towards T-Mobile until the news broke about this world's largest database of domestic phone calls that has been quietly amassed by the NSA with the cooperation of Verizon, AT&T and Bellsouth. Lo and behold, the lone holdout, the only company that refused to cooperate was Qwest.
Qwest is based in Denver. It provides service to about 14 million people mostly in the south and west of the country. All it did was ask the NSA to provide a warrant, or, at the very least, an authorization from the attorney-general. The NSA refused. So did Qwest.
I want to be a Qwest customer.
Just in case that little story got by any of you - the NSA has been tracking all of our phone calls for, oh, six years now. Well, not ALL of our phone calls, my friends and family in Canada needn't worry yet, they are still living in a free and democratic country. Don't worry, they don't have your name or anything - not that a little cross checking couldn't find that information pretty quick, and, hey, if your not doing anything illegal, why should you be concerned anyway? What's a little privacy and freedom between friends?
The answer, my friend, is blowing with Qwest,the answer is blowing with Qwest.
So Tom and I have been halfheartedly throwing around the idea of finding a new wireless carrier. I'll tell you why. Boostmobile won't let me download (or upload, or whatever it is you do to get ringtones on your damned phone!) "Oh Canada" to play whenever someone calls me. Seriously, for me, that's it. Ok, and I sort of want a cool little flippy phone, but that's totally secondary. For Tom there's some kind of practical thing about Boostmobile not working when we travel in Canada...blah, blah, blah.
We're totally pay-as-you-go people, you know, non-commital. Cingular wants 99 cents every day that I use my phone, on top of the per-minute rate. Yeah, that ain't gonna happen. Verizon disguised monthly plans as pay-as-you-go plans and their prices are outrageous. No dice. I was leaning towards T-Mobile until the news broke about this world's largest database of domestic phone calls that has been quietly amassed by the NSA with the cooperation of Verizon, AT&T and Bellsouth. Lo and behold, the lone holdout, the only company that refused to cooperate was Qwest.
Qwest is based in Denver. It provides service to about 14 million people mostly in the south and west of the country. All it did was ask the NSA to provide a warrant, or, at the very least, an authorization from the attorney-general. The NSA refused. So did Qwest.
Just in case that little story got by any of you - the NSA has been tracking all of our phone calls for, oh, six years now. Well, not ALL of our phone calls, my friends and family in Canada needn't worry yet, they are still living in a free and democratic country. Don't worry, they don't have your name or anything - not that a little cross checking couldn't find that information pretty quick, and, hey, if your not doing anything illegal, why should you be concerned anyway? What's a little privacy and freedom between friends?
Stephen Harper Eats Canada
First of all, Ontario provides 40% of Canada's employment opportunities, and approximately 60% of all Canadian exports are manufactured in Ontario. The stupid equalization payments were orignally designed so that each province could have the same per capita income as Ontario. Follow me here my fellow Canadians, the standard of living was set by Ontario! The goal was eventually reduced to a national per capita average. Today, Ontario and Alberta are the only two provinces who are not on the receiving end of any equalization payments. Quebec, only incidently, is the largest recipient - it is also the most populous of the so-called 'have-not' provinces. Saskatchewan and BC are within 'have' range and closing rapidly.
So, Ontario would like some of its money back. We have some of our own financial issues that we think we would like to take care of, such as health care and ridiculous waiting times and such, and we're pretty sure that we could afford to do that if we weren't paying out so freakin' much money without seeing any of it ever coming back. I don't mind helping out my Canadian bretheren, but not at the expense of a floundering Ontario. The Martin government understood that. They promised to cut Ontario's equalization payments by some $6 billion over the next six years. Harper isn't keeping that promise. What a shock.
Which brings me to my rant about the current Prime Minister of Canada and his blatant disregard for the democratic system. Can you vote non-confidence, boys and girls? I knew you could.
Ontario voted for Dalton McGuinty. I don't particularly care if Stephen Harper likes the man or not. Ontario didn't ask for Stephen Harper's approval. The Prime Minister does not get to appoint provincial premiers, no matter how badly he would like to do so. It is part of the job of the Prime Minister of Canada to work with the duly elected Premiers, who represent their respective provinces. Thus, by snubbing Dalton McGuinty, Harper is not merely playing partisan politics and supporting conservative candidates; he is snubbing Ontario voters. It's not arrogance, it's treasonous!
Stephen Harper thinks that he can do without Ontario's 54 ridings which voted Liberal and, therefore, he needn't even acknowledge their existence. He doesn't need to pay attention to Canadian citizens who didn't vote for him. He's got his head so far up Quebec's ass right now that I think his big picture might be a little smudged. It's entirely possible that he can do without Ontario's 54 Liberal-leaning ridings, I couldn't say for sure. I do know one thing though - politicians shouldn't burn bridges and there are some toasty marshmallows between Harper and Ontario right now. What if the 40 ridings in Ontario that voted Conservative this time around, didn't next time because they didn't like the way their province was treated by the Prime Minister? What if up and coming British Columbia and its Liberal premier, Gordon Campbell, continued to side with Ontario? Incidently, up and coming Saskatchewan has an NDP government at the moment, and Quebec's Jean Charest is Liberal. Harper has picked a prickly path for himself. I can certainly understand why he would be out campaigning for Conservative candidates - even if it is completely inappropriate.
So Canada, I hate to say I told ya so, but, really, look in the archives, I did. Stephen Harper is a sneaky, no-good, hidden-agenda, conniving, lying, Bush-supporter who has no place in Canadian politics, much less running the damned country. He's turning us against ourselves, a pack of dogs fighting against each other needlessly, and he's ruining everything that I love best about Canada. GET HIM OUT OF THERE!!!
So, Ontario would like some of its money back. We have some of our own financial issues that we think we would like to take care of, such as health care and ridiculous waiting times and such, and we're pretty sure that we could afford to do that if we weren't paying out so freakin' much money without seeing any of it ever coming back. I don't mind helping out my Canadian bretheren, but not at the expense of a floundering Ontario. The Martin government understood that. They promised to cut Ontario's equalization payments by some $6 billion over the next six years. Harper isn't keeping that promise. What a shock.
Which brings me to my rant about the current Prime Minister of Canada and his blatant disregard for the democratic system. Can you vote non-confidence, boys and girls? I knew you could.
Ontario voted for Dalton McGuinty. I don't particularly care if Stephen Harper likes the man or not. Ontario didn't ask for Stephen Harper's approval. The Prime Minister does not get to appoint provincial premiers, no matter how badly he would like to do so. It is part of the job of the Prime Minister of Canada to work with the duly elected Premiers, who represent their respective provinces. Thus, by snubbing Dalton McGuinty, Harper is not merely playing partisan politics and supporting conservative candidates; he is snubbing Ontario voters. It's not arrogance, it's treasonous!
Stephen Harper thinks that he can do without Ontario's 54 ridings which voted Liberal and, therefore, he needn't even acknowledge their existence. He doesn't need to pay attention to Canadian citizens who didn't vote for him. He's got his head so far up Quebec's ass right now that I think his big picture might be a little smudged. It's entirely possible that he can do without Ontario's 54 Liberal-leaning ridings, I couldn't say for sure. I do know one thing though - politicians shouldn't burn bridges and there are some toasty marshmallows between Harper and Ontario right now. What if the 40 ridings in Ontario that voted Conservative this time around, didn't next time because they didn't like the way their province was treated by the Prime Minister? What if up and coming British Columbia and its Liberal premier, Gordon Campbell, continued to side with Ontario? Incidently, up and coming Saskatchewan has an NDP government at the moment, and Quebec's Jean Charest is Liberal. Harper has picked a prickly path for himself. I can certainly understand why he would be out campaigning for Conservative candidates - even if it is completely inappropriate.
So Canada, I hate to say I told ya so, but, really, look in the archives, I did. Stephen Harper is a sneaky, no-good, hidden-agenda, conniving, lying, Bush-supporter who has no place in Canadian politics, much less running the damned country. He's turning us against ourselves, a pack of dogs fighting against each other needlessly, and he's ruining everything that I love best about Canada. GET HIM OUT OF THERE!!!