Willowmist's Wanderings

How does one go from much-maligned pedophilic circus freak to honoured hero in twenty-four hours?

The answer is to die suddenly from a relatively inoccuous-sounding cause, most likely brought about by drug use of which no one else was aware until after you die and then everyone can say how much sense everything makes after the fact.

He was, as every single news station is now reporting, a heartbreakingly talented, ground-breaking artist.  I just can’t stomach the way the very same reporters who covered the child molesting stories with such obvious relish are now pretending to such respect and mourning.  I understand that people like to feel like they are a part of something, but I’ve never had any respect for people who congregate at hospitals and such to ‘mourn’ someone they never knew, much less understood in any way whatsoever.  I mean, come on, I loved him in the eighties too.  I saw him live during the Victory Tour at the height of his career.  I wore the glove.  I even have all the songs on my mp3 player now.  But the man was a freak.  Whether or not he was a kiddie-diddler, he had some really serious psychological issues without any of the common sense to deal with them in private like the rest of us.  The last couple of decades of his life were bizarre and sad.  The only real tragedy here is in the fact that he didn’t die sooner so he could have retained some shred of his dignity in the public memory.

So let’s not sit around his star on the Walk of Fame and gloss over twenty years by saying that although his life had been overshadowed of late with scandals and legal trouble, he will be sorely missed.  I’m sure his family and friends will miss him, but most of us won’t even notice once the media finds something juicier to suck on.

Happy June 25 everyone.

If you are the guy in the blue pick up truck who was in such an all-fired hurry that you felt justified in honking at me for slowing down long enough to let two drivers merge in front of me, I know that I have already flipped you off, but I don’t feel like I have adequately expressed my complete lack of respect for you. 

Just to be clear, I was slowing down to allow other cars to merge so that traffic would continue moving smoothly and we could all get home expeditiously.  To further clarify the situation, the light just a few hundred feet ahead of us was turning red and we were all going to be stopped anyway.  But, even if none of that were so, in the future, please don’t assume that we are all inconsiderate, self-important assholes.  In fact, I had more to lose by letting those drivers into the line of traffic ahead of me since my destination was only about a dozen or so feet ahead and I could literally have been home five minutes sooner had I not let anyone ahead of me.   It’s not about the five minutes.  There is no front of the line at rush hour for crissakes.  I understand firsthand the difficulties in merging in the Philadelphia suburbs and I believe that we reap what we sow (or do unto others, or karma and the threefold rule…choose your proverb) and I’m going to do anything I can to make my own travels easier.  And if I’m right, your karmic return is going to be a bitch.  Have fun with that!

Happy June 23 everyone.

So, if you read the weather warnings, you will see that there has been an obnoxious amount of rain in our area — today in particular, and this year in general.  I can personally verify the reports of the Little Neshaminy overflowing and roads being closed in the Horsham and Warminster areas, having been turned away from at least one road while running around with my men this afternoon.  We had a disconcerting conversation with Vaughan about why it is bad to drive a car in deep water, while driving our car in deep water.  It really was a lot of flooding.  Montgomery County needs to rethink it’s drainage plans.

Happy June 13 everyone.

Two women at work were discussing John Travolta and how he is a Scientologist.  The one woman expressed disappointment that he was no longer a Christian and incredulity that anyone would follow Scientology.  You see, L. Ron Hubbard just made it up one day.  It’s not even a real religion….

She meant this, I assume, in contrast to Christianity which was not made up at all. 

I am certainly no great fan of L. Ron Hubbard; but now I’m wondering if he is so very different from Jesus or Mohammad or Buddha or Joseph Smith.  Didn’t they all pretty much just make up their own religion afterall?  Although, to be perfectly fair, Jesus didn’t write any of it down, he just takes all the credit in the story.  So, maybe L. Ron Hubbard is more like Paul or Mark or John.  Muhammad didn’t really write any of it down either because he was illiterate  but he did specifically dictate his communications with god for others to write down.  And I suppose, if you’re splitting hairs, Buddhism isn’t really a religion so much as a philosophy, but I digress.  The point is, they’re all fucking made up.  And they’re all essentially just bullshit.

How does blood create forgiveness?

How did a tribe of Jews get to America before anyone but the Indians knew America existed and not leave a trace of themselves in any historical record or artifact?

If there is only one god, why is he so fucking jealous and insecure?

If we can only achieve Nirvana by purging ourselves of lust and desire, why would we care about getting to Nirvana when we have achieved it?

Iff only 144,000 people are promised a place in Heaven, why would I want to keep converting new people?

How does burning a red candle really make any difference to the universe than burning a yellow one? 

Ok, folks - just because you think you’re right, doesn’t mean that everyone else is wrong.  It doesn’t even make you right necessarily.  The ultimate truth is that no one actually knows the truth.  Picking one specific truth and closing your mind to all others is irresponsible and illogical.

Happy June 11 everyone.

Do me a favour — if you’re standing in a line, just stand there and shut up, ok?  Don’t pace around in circles that cover several feet.  You look foolish and you irritate the person behind you who is trying to maintain her own personal space.  Pacing doesn’t speed up the line.  It makes you look like you’re all hopped up on speed and can’t control yourself.  Stop

And, if you have a disagreement with the cashier, or the manager, or even the whole fucking store - yelling and screaming and calling on the crowd to watch you does not help your case at all.  We’re not gaping in sympathy, especially not if you’re dickering over a buck and a half not covered by your WIC card.  We’re enjoying our free tickets to the circus.  You’re not embarassing Wal-mart.  You’re embarassing yourself and those poor little children who are stuck with you.  but, by all means, make a ridiculous scene.  Those of us who are stuck working a long, boring day thank you.

If you enter a bank to cash an $80,000 check, the bank is going to have to verify the funds.  That bad dog is going on an eleven day hold and, when I tell you that, I mean eleven business days.  Please don’t call me a week later and think you can bully me into releasing the hold.  You don’t impress me.  And, even if I could help you in some way, I sure as hell don’t want to risk my job over someone who is yelling or threatening me.  And, by the way, you were told how long it would take, the expiration date for the hold is right on that sheet of paper we printed out for you - trying reading it.

Happy May 29 everyone.